


The Problem With People

by Marauder_Emaelyn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxious remus, Depressed Remus, Mental Health Issues, discussions on mental health, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25386427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marauder_Emaelyn/pseuds/Marauder_Emaelyn
Summary: “Hey, Moony,” he said, “How are you?” Remus didn’t respond at first. Then he shrugged.“Do I make people feel bad?” He asked quietly. The shock was evident on James’ face, wiping the rest of his smile away.“What are you on about, Remy?”Or:A discussion on Mental Health in the Wizarding World.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 46





	The Problem With People

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was meant to be working on a completely different project today, but it was a weird mental health day, and I needed something different. This is really just me projecting onto Remus as a character to attempt to sort through some stuff.
> 
> TW: This entire fic is really just James and Remus discussing mental health. I don't know if it's going to be triggering to anyone, but it seemed important to mention. <3

Remus let out a long sigh as he shut the dorm door behind him, thankful to find it empty. He leaned back against the door for a moment, savouring the silence, feeling lighter for being alone. It didn’t take long for his mind to wander however, wiping the half smile from his face. He walked over to his bed as his mind churned with thoughts.

“ _ I just… I get really mad at him, you know?” Mary said, pacing in the hall outside the library. Remus nodded. “He acts like I’m so dumb and silly and have to have him do everything for me!” _

Remus shook his head as he sat down on the end of his bed.

_ “Does Slughorn hate me because I’m bad at Potions?” Peter asked, slumping against the wall. “I try to do well, but it’s hard! Why does he have to always single me out?” _

_ “He doesn’t really,” Remus replied carefully. “He does call on you a lot, but he spends a lot of time calling on other people, too.” _

_ “It doesn’t seem like it,” Peter grumbled. _

Remus pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on top. He knew he should get started on his homework, or read a book, or do  _ anything _ other than sit here and pity himself, but he just couldn’t make himself get up.

“ _ Why does he have to be like that?” Sirius shouted, slamming the door to the door behind him. Remus marked his page in his book and set it aside. _

_ “Regulus again, love?” Remus asked. Sirius growled. _

_ “He acts like he owns the bloody planet! And like I’m scum for deciding the Black family beliefs were bullshit!” Remus sighed. _

_ “Yeah, I know, love.” _

_ “Why can’t he act like a bloody human being for five seconds?!” _

_ “He finds it harder to break the mold than you did, Siri.” _

_ “It doesn’t have to be easy! It wasn’t easy! But it’s bloody right!” _

_ “I know,” Remus said softly. _

Remus wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting there when the dorm door opened, and James walked in, a grin on his face. His smile faltered slightly at the sight of Remus.

“Hey, Moony,” he said, “How are you?” Remus didn’t respond at first. Then he shrugged.

“Do I make people feel bad?” He asked quietly. The shock was evident on James’ face, wiping the rest of his smile away.

“What are you on about, Remy?”

“Do I make them feel bad? P-pessimistic? O-or just, u-upset? Every t-time I’m alone with someone, they’re u-upset, and have s-something wrong, a-and yeah. It is-isn’t like that when we’re in a group. I-is it, is it my fault?” Remus’ voice was barely a whisper, and for a moment he wasn’t sure if James had heard him. But James walked over and sat beside him, slinging his arm around Remus’ shoulders.

“Of course it isn’t your fault, Remy,” James said, voice full of understanding. “I promise it isn’t your fault they’re upset. I don’t think it has anything to do with you at all, beyond them trusting you. Truth is, all of our friends are upset most of the time, but they don’t like to be vulnerable and show that, so they cover it up. They just happen to trust us a whole lot. And it’s easier for them to be vulnerable around us one on one than in a group.” Remus picked at his nails, not looking up.

“How does it not eat up at you, tearing up your insides?”

“Well,” James sighed. “For me, I’ve never thought of it like that. I’ve always been able to separate myself from their issues, and file it away when I’m not actively helping them. I’m often just grateful that they trust me, and that I can be there for them by listening.”

“That’s-”

“But I don’t think it’s that simple.” Remus finally looked up at James, who gave him a small grin. “For me, yeah, like I said, I can separate the fact that they need me to listen from everything else. I can help without letting it hurt me, because me and their need to talk to me are separate things. That doesn’t mean you can do the same thing, Remy. In fact, I think trying would be a bad idea. I don’t think it would be healthy. I know you care about our friends, but helping them  _ can’t _ come before helping you.” Remus looked back down at his hands clasped together around his legs.

“I don’t know how to not, though,” He said softly. “I just feel so-so upset w-when they’re upset, and I just want to be able to fix it. I-i don’t even know what to do unless I’m at least  _ trying _ to fix things.”

“Maybe you need to start trying to set boundaries in your relationships, then, mate,” James said gently.

“How do I even do that?”

“Well, you could start by telling people you aren’t the best one for them to come to with their problems, or explain that you want to help, but it’s harming you more than it’s helping them for you to try to fix things.”

“But I don’t want them to feel like they can’t come to me,” Remus said desperately. James smiled again.

“I know you want them to feel they can come to you. I know you want to be able to help them. But your own wellbeing has to come first, Remy. You can’t help them if you don’t help yourself first.”

“I can’t- I-i don’t-”

“Remy, if you’re about to try to convince you’re fine and don’t need help, don’t bother.” Remus glared at James, but he continued. “You and Sirius both are always like this. You try to insist everything is fine and you could never need any help.”

“I-”

“You do,” James said pointedly, interrupting Remus. “Remus, you’ve had an-xi-e-ty as long as I’ve known you. I daresay you’ve dealt with depression more recently. I’d honestly be surprised if those were your only mental health issues, with what you go regularly, but Lily hasn’t taught me about any other ones yet.” Remus tucked his head behind his knees. James paused for a moment before continuing, voice soft. “I’m not saying this to be mean, or make fun of you, or to be pointing out all your flaws or anything. I say all this because I care about you, Remy, and I want you to be able to get better. I wish we had mind doctor things like they do in the muggle world, because I really think you could use some help trying to work through all this. Also, all this to say that maybe you’re trying to stretch yourself too far, what with trying to help everyone. You have your own things to work through right now, which is okay. But maybe you can’t focus on everyone else’s issues and trying to fix them just now.”

“How are you so well balanced, then?” James snorted.

“If by well balanced, you mean an ego the size of the astronomy tower and enough arrogance to make a Pureblood party look humble, then sure. But,” James squeezed Remus’ shoulders. “I’m working on it. I’ve acknowledged it, and I have a wonderful girlfriend who will not even hesitate to let me know when I’m messing it up again. It’s okay that you don’t have it figured out, Remy, and I’m here if you need me, okay?” Slowly, Remus lifted his head to see James’ soft smile. He nodded.

“Yeah, okay,” He whispered. “Thank you.” James lifted his arm from Remus’ shoulders to ruffle his friend’s hair.

“Anytime. Always. I mean it.” James gave another grin as Remus ducked away from his hand. He leaped to his feet and spun around. “Now, I think we should head out and raid the kitchens, don’t you?”

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully this can be helpful to other people as well as to me. It's such an important thing that is really difficult for me to remember.   
> <3<3<3<3


End file.
